Between a Mother and a Child
by Beautiful Trix
Summary: Pansy knew for her whole life that her mother never wanted her. When she leaves her fourth year, will she finally have the courage to stand up to her mother? Sequel may come!


A/N: This is a song fic. The song is by Chely Wright. I really love this song. It reminds me a lot of my own mother. I hope you enjoy it. Please read and review!

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Pansy sat in the back compartment with Draco, Blaise, Crabbe, Goyle, and Millicent. They were all laughing and passing around a joint. Draco took it and took a long hit off of it. He kissed Pansy's neck and she giggled. "Fourth year is finally done!" Millicent yelled out of the open window. Blaise laughed and put his hand up her skirt. Pansy moaned as Draco started to bite her neck. Millicent rolled her eyes and took a hit off the joint that she had to wrestle away from Crabbe. Goyle looked out the window. "Damn!" he cursed. "The train will be coming to the station." Pansy giggled and pushed Draco away from her.

When the train came to a stop at the station, the group all tried to act normal as they went to their parents. Pansy saw her mother and sighed. She was really hoping that it would have been her father to come and get her. Draco gave her a long passionate kiss before he headed off toward his parents. Pansy's mother narrowed her eyes as Draco walked past her. Pansy walked over to her mother. Pansy's mother glared at her daughter as she took in her daughter's blood shot eyes and the hickey on her neck. Pansy ignored her and dragged her stuff over to the carriage that was waiting.

Pansy and her mother got in and the carriage pulled off. Pansy's mother looked over at her and clicked her tongue disapprovingly. "Oh stop it mother." Pansy snapped. She leaned back into the seat and crossed her arms across her chest. To be honest, Pansy...what was the word...despised her mother. Her mother always made her feel unwanted and unloved. Ever since she was young.

****

I know you don't like me  
Don't like the things I do  
The saddest part just might be  
That I don't like you too

"What are you doing with that boy?" Pansy's mother asked. Pansy looked at her innocently. "What boy, mother?" she asked. Pansy's mother glared at her again. "Don't play dumb with me!" she hissed. "The Malfoy boy." "The Malfoy boy has a name, mother. It's Draco." Pansy hissed at her. "Pansy, manners." her mother snapped. "Act more lady like. You are starting to act like Millicent Bulstrode." "And what is wrong with Millicent?" Pansy demanded. "You are friends with her parents." Pansy's mother rolled her eyes. "No I am not. They just have a really good surname, that's all." Pansy's mother told her. "Now, what are you doing with Draco?" "Well, on christmas we had sex." Pansy answered her, looking innocent again. Pansy's mother stared at her in horror. Pansy smiled to herself. Draco was...believe it or not...a gentleman. They didn't have sex but the look on her mother's face was priceless.

"For a little while, I thought I was pregnant." Pansy went on. "Draco was upset because he didn't want to marry me. But then we found out I wasn't so it was all good. I have also been working on the street corner for awhile. I have been making some big money." Pansy then reached into her pocket and pulled out a black silk bag of gold. Pansy's mother glared at her. "You lie so much Pansy. How is anyone going to trust you?" she demanded. Pansy put the gold, that Draco had given her, away. Pansy went back to ignoring her mother and looked out of the carriage window.

****

You think you know my story  
Well maybe you did for a little while  
I guess that's the way it goes sometimes  
Between a mother and a child

The carriage pulled up to Parkinson Manor. A servent stepped out of the house and opened the carriage. He helped Pansy and her mother from it. He then took Pansy's luggage into the house. She followed her mother into the house. She looked around and saw that her mother had redecorated the house. Pansy rolled her eyes. "There's my beautiful Princess." a voice called. Pansy looked to the staircase to see her father coming down the stairs. "Daddy!" she cried and ran to him. He took her in his arms and hugged her close. He pushed her raven colored hair away from her forehead and kisses the top of her head. Pansy's mother rolled her eyes and turned to a servent. "I've missed you Princess." he told her. "I missed you too, daddy." Pansy replied back.

"The boys have missed you too." her father said. Pansy nodded. She kissed her father's cheek and continued upstairs. She walked down the hall and heard little voices coming from a room to her far left. She turned and stood in the doorway. Her two little brothers were in the room playing. Nine year old Christian Parkinson sat in the corner writing in a little notebook that he carried everywhere. His long black hair fell into his eyes. He pushed it away and continued to write. Six year old Thomas Parkinson sat in the middle of the room playing with toy quidditch players. His messy brown hair was sticking up in the back. His hair always refused to stay tamed. "Hello." Pansy greeted. Christian and Thomas looked up. "Pansy!" they cried and ran to her hugging her.

Pansy smiled at them and hugged them close to her. She loved her brothers. They were so cute. "What are you writing?" Pansy asked Christian. "A story." Christian replied with a shrug. "Can I read it when it's finished?" Pansy asked. Christian nodded. "What are you doing, Thomas?" Pansy asked him. Thomas smiled up at her and she saw that he was missing his front tooth. "Playing with the cannons." he answered her. "The Chudley Cannons." she said. He nodded. Pansy talked to her brothers for a little bit more before she left them alone. She walked downstairs and saw that her mother had some old boxes out and she was going through them.

"What are you doing?" Pansy asked. "Moving all these old photo albums to the attic. We don't look at these pictures anymore." her mother replied. Pansy opened a few albums and looked into them to see that they were her baby pictures. She looked up at her mother, glaring at her. Her mother didn't notice the look. "My baby pictures." Pansy said with a shurg. Pansy's mother nodded. "You were a difficult baby." her mother told her. Pansy rolled her eyes and sat down on the couch. "If it wasn't for your father climbing on me everynight because he needed a son. There would be no more kids." "Mum!" Pansy shrieked as she covered her face with a pillow. "I almost lost you a couple times. That was a very difficult labor." her mother continued. Pansy sighed. She knew the story. How her mother didn't want her.

****

All my life you've reminded me  
How you struggled nine long months  
Your achin' back and your swollen feet  
How you almost lost me once

Her mother went quiet and she started to go through the pictures. Pansy waited a few seconds and then cautiously took the pillow off of her head. She sighed in relief when she heard her mother's silence. She sat there and stared off into space. "You know, you three are the only reason why I stayed with your father." her mother told her breaking her silence. Pansy rolled her eyes. She knew that one too. "Yea, you told me this." Pansy muttered. "You better not get married young and have kids." her mother lectured. "Stay away from that Malfoy boy. He only wants one thing. And then you'll get pregnant and your life will be ruined. Mine was ruined." Pansy started to make faces at her mother's back. "You were born and I had to give up my dreams." she went on. Pansy pulled the pillow back over her head. "Pansy, what are you doing?" her mother snapped. "Trying to suffocate myself." Pansy replied.

Pansy's mother ticked her tongue disapprovingly. "Why?" she demanded. "What's so wrong with your life?" What's so wrong with your life? Pasny wanted to yell. She wanted to shake her and demand to know the answers. But she didn't. She sighed and remained quiet.

****

You say you gave up everything  
All the dreams you had  
Told us kids we're the only reason  
You stayed there with our dad

And you want me to cry for you  
You want me to feel the way you do  
I'm sorry your life let you down  
But the fault it is not mine  
It's not supposed to be like this  
Between a mother and a child

Pansy sat outside on the grounds with Draco. He rapped her in his arms. Pansy smiled. She loved being in his arms. It was the only place she really felt safe. Draco kissed her neck. Pansy closed her eyes and enjoyed his lips on her neck. Draco brought his lips up to Pansy's ear and whispered. "I love you." Pansy smiled. "I love you too." she whispered back. Pansy looked over to the house. She couldn't see. But she could sense it. She knew her mother was watching. Draco spun Pansy around so they were now facing each other. He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her gently. He smiled at her. Pansy felt her knees grow weak.

Soon after, Draco left. Pansy was walking to her room when she heard her mother call her. Pansy stopped and swore under her breath. She walked into her mother's room. "Yea?" Pansy asked. Her mother was sitting in front of her vanity table. She handed Pansy the brush and turned back toward the mirror. Pansy sighed and pulled the brush through her mother's long brown hair. "I saw you and Draco outside today." her mother said. Finally she learns his name. Pansy thought. "You are moving way too fast with him." she told her. Pansy rolled her eyes. "He is nice to me and he treats me well." Pansy told her. Her mother shook her head. "Do you remember how your father was years ago?" she asked. Pansy's hands started to shake. "Mother, I really don't want to talk about this." Pansy muttered. "I wasn't supposed to marry your father." her mother went on.

Yes you were. Pansy thought to herself. Lucius was madly in love with Narcissa. "Lucius had courted me for awhile." her mother said. "Yea, I know." Pansy said. And you are just mad because Draco and I remind you of Lucius and Narcissa. Her mother stopped her by grabbing her hand. "I just don't want you to get hurt like I did." she said. Pansy stared at their two different reflections in the mirror.

**_You want me to just agree  
With everything you say  
Call my dad the bad guy  
Make him pay and pay and pay  
It's really not my business  
It never was or will ever be _**

Pansy walked downstairs for dinner. She was a Parkinson. Therefore, she was dressed as if she was awaiting the Minister of Magic or the Dark Lord or whatever. She walked into the dining room and saw that everyone else was already seated around the table. She looked at her father and mother together and she remembered the conversation that her mother and she had had only a little bit ago. She felt guilty. She felt as if she was betraying her father. Her father had gotten a lot better. And she understood that no one was perfect. That included her mother. But her mother sure didn't think that.

**_But I know nobody's perfect  
And that's counting you and me  
Yeah that's counting you and me_**

That night, as Pansy was lying in bed, she couldn't sleep. She kept tossing and turning. She didn't remember much from her past but little pieces would come back to her. She damned her mother for trying to make her remember. If it was so bad, why would her mother want her to remember? She needed to speak to her. She needed to yell at her. She sighed. She just needed to get away from her mother. Period. She stood up and wrapped a robe around her. She left her room. It wasn't too late and she knew her mother was not in bed. Pansy walked downstairs and out of the house. Her mother was sitting by the garden, drinking tea. Pansy walked over to her and sat down beside her. "The night is pretty isn't it? her mother asked. Pansy nodded. She took a deep breath.

"Mother, why did you try to make me remember the past?" Pansy questioned. "If it was so bad, then why bring it up?" "To help you see my mistakes." her mother said with a sigh as if Pansy was supposed to know this. Pansy growled and stood up. She flipped over the little table that stood between them ."God dammit!" she yelled. "I am so tired of this. What's so wrong with your life? You are the wife of a very good name. You have three beautiful children. Yea, dad was bad back then but he got better. For who? For you. Lucius didn't want you. Oh well, that was 20 years ago." Pansy was shocked that she was shouting this at her mother. Tears that she held back for so long was rolling down her face. Her mother stared at her in shock.

"You wanna know why my life is so bad?" Pansy demanded. Finally, after all this time that she always put his question off. "It is because of you! I know my mother doesn't love her kids or husband. How she didn't want any of us. How we just ruined her life. Are you happy that you know now mother?" She turned on her heel and went back into the house. Pansy and her mother never really spoke again. Pansy spent the rest of the summer hanging out with her friends. September soon rolled around and she went back to Hogwarts as a Prefect. But she went back differenty. She felt older. More mature. But the one thing that she was happy with was that she felt, for once, at peace.

****

I don't remember all that happened  
Mama I was just a kid  
But if it really was all that bad  
Why do you wish I did?

You want me to cry for you  
I'll never feel the way you do  
I'm sorry your life let you down  
But the fault it is not mine  
It's not supposed to be this way  
Between a mother and a child  
Oh a mother and a child  
You're my mother and I'm your child

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End file.
